4 Reasons Why That Relationship ended?
“If a relationship doesn’t feel right, it isn’t right… Let it go!!!” – Richa Chaturvedi
My mom used to say Relationships are a fine thread, strong enough to provide you warmth and weak enough to get torn apart with the slightest power. The Words to look for here are Warmth and Power. Warmth comes when you are compassionate towards each other, hold empathy and know that come what may you both can rely upon each other. Power on the other hand is that you think you hold superior position over the other, when you think you can influence them and that you hold the upper hand over them.
Power is basically an EGO game being played in a relationship. It is this power that ruins a relationship and drives it towards dead ends. There are 4 ways you show that power into a relationship, who behave like a spoiler –
Criticism – Criticism are complaints, issues or problems with other people in the relationship. You basically disapprove of the personality this person carries and are subsequently trying to change them as per your terms and conditions. Criticism scratches one’s soul, attacks the person instead of the problem and leaves them with no option but to withdraw in order to safeguard themselves and their sanity. Critical Criticism may look like this – “You are useless”; “ You never remember these things” etc…
Contempt – Contempt is contempt of one’s dignity, when you start to ridicule, mock, insult or label another person. It is a way to disregard or disrespect another person because you think you have an upper hand and that you can drive people around you as you want. Once you slip into the mode of authority, you become authoritative, leaving no lines of communication open for feedback or response. This results into taking the significant other to withdraw without informing for which even they are aware that they will be criticised for.. But taking the blame and leaving seems a better option than to stay and get sabotaged everyday.
Defensiveness – Defensiveness is a feeling induced behaviour arising out of insecurities and shows victim mentality. When we feel defensive we play the victim card and start to play the blame game to shift the guilt to someone else. But that’s not going to help either of the parties. A blame game can never be perceived in a positive spirit.
Stonewalling – It is a sign of overwhelm. When you get struck with too much of something, you start to withdraw or create an artificial wall to protect yourself. Usually people use this way to end a relationship,as through this they can avoid unpleasant conversations which might ruin their mental health at a later stage. Avoidance is bliss.
“Dump a bad relationship today, because what you learnt today is far deeper than what you learnt before!!!” – Richa Chaturvedi
Resonate with these views!
What is your reason to end a relationship?
Kudos to your Empowerment!